Emotions

Exposing ourselves to unfamiliar situations allows us to grow and learn more about who we truly are. Whether it was my first sky dive, my first bungie jump, or skiing my first black, my body’s natural response to high stress, adrenaline-filled situations is to shut down all unnecessary emotions and just complete the task at hand. Up until my last weekend in Houston, I had no fear, concern, or sadness regarding this trip. Maybe it was the rush of my decision to embark, or maybe it was an elongated extension of my high-stress response to the unknown. Whichever the reason, I could not feel anything—the trip just was.

I fully expected to experience worry or concern once I arrived at Bush Intercontinental. However; once again, my emotions remained constant. While waiting at the gate and on the phone with my Dad, one fact finally sank in. For the first time in my life, I was going on a trip where people played no role. I was not going with family or friends and I was not going to visit family or friends. Even during work trips, there has always been a familiar face (or at least a name and voice). Traveling solo is one thing but going alone with the expectation of not seeing anyone familiar for four months is completely different.

Walking through the Amsterdam airport caused the missing emotions to appear. They were swift and I can pinpoint the exact location between my two gates where my stomach flipped from pure comfort, to a realization that I am now by myself, in a foreign country, where all the signs are not in English, people are not speaking English, etc.

Here we go…