As we transition from childhood through adolescence and into
young adulthood, the seemingly infinite possibilities for our lives slowly
dwindle into only a handful of options. At every life stage, boundaries form
and our once expected opportunities as vast as the Alaskan wilderness begin
narrowing to the size of a country road. As we drive this winding road, our
headlights only illuminating the path several seconds in advance, we begin
focusing solely on the asphalt: a narrow sliver of life, four seconds at a
time. When the sun slowly rises in the eastern sky, its gentle blue and yellow
hue illuminating the hundreds of miles we have traveled, the true beauty of
living, the same beauty we blazed past while focusing only on the road lit in
front of our eyes, begins appearing where there was darkness. Our focus on the
destination—a destination lacking in any true personal value—prevents us from
experiencing the true rewards of the journey (life).
While our priorities may change like the seasons, they nonjudgmentally
reveal where we place our emphasis in life. As life proceeds from one
phase to the next, our priorities and our purpose shift; however, these two elements
always mirror each other. Unfortunately, when our past is illuminated, all our
missed opportunities due to unexpectedly misaligned priorities are revealed. We
only have one life and missing these opportunities yields regret. The thrills
of victory and success are frequently short-lived and provide a joy that stops
well before our core: the pain of defeat is deeper but generally dissipates with
time. However, regret remains buried, always watching, and waiting to pounce until
a separate memory provides closure. Everyone desires a redo in some phase of
his or her life; whether a relationship, a conversation, a job, a missed
experience or a simple photograph he or she prevented. My personal fear of
future regret propelled me into this trip. Life seemed to part and a soggy path
leading to the other side of the sea emerged. Not everything had turned out as
expected or even desired in the previous few months, but everything had
happened for a reason. Each individual piece had fallen to build a puzzle. While
some expectations had not come to fruition, other dreams were materializing on
the horizon.
As I moved from country to country, the memories I hold
dearest are the conversations (generally unexpected) with people from all over
the world. Humility, honesty and sincerity are personality traits that
transcend cultures and native languages. Humility humanizes you by demonstrating
your acceptance and almost reliance on someone else, while sincerity and
honestly are catalysts for cultivating meaningful conversations that extend
further than, “how long have you been traveling?” However, meaningful
conversations and meaningful, long-term connections with people are different. Follow-up
is required to provide the human element for a purpose-filled life. There lies
the problem with backpacking Europe and moving from place to place so quickly. Sharing
life’s experiences and stories can provide lessons, understandings and
connections; however, living life with one another provides purpose.
Working together to conquer the difficult times, joining in celebration during
the good times; these longer-term investments in each other are essential for
true purpose and meaning. Traveling Europe solo (it sounds depressing to say “alone”)
provides ample time to increase self and global awareness; however, there is
always something missing when you cannot share your experiences with the people
you care about.
The power of home served as an unexpected learning from this
trip. Not necessarily the physical presence of a home; rather, the emotional
connection associated with a city. While I was born and raised in the suburbs
of Houston, I consider Houston my home due to the depth of friendships I have
with the people living there. Home is not about a physical address on a map;
home is about the people: the memories, the stories, the laughter and the
tears.
Connecting the dots of life can only occur when looking
backward. As I proceeded from dot to dot (city to city) on the European map, I
continued to grow, change and mature into a more confident, more aware
individual. Through the challenges, joys, hardships, and lessons, I was
continually being molded, shaped and carved into a new person. Prior to
departing on this trip, I would have avoided certain cities and countries I
ended up enjoying, simply due to prior bias and a lack of individual confidence.
Looking back over the molding and shaping periods, those challenges were being
used to strengthen my resolve and character and to build my confidence in my
skills to overcome difficulties.
In the year plus prior to departing, I made a noticeable
shift in my priorities in life. I decided to start fresh—a clean, uncultivated
field—and use any available resource to fertilize that field so seeds would
grow stronger and more plentiful than ever before. My personal growth during
that phase (some lessons taking over a year to become habit) was necessary to
mature into a person of purpose. These lessons also taught me the importance of
genuine honesty and transparency with people. People are just people; we all
have struggles and successes, highs and lows. Connecting with each other on a
meaningful level can provide the fulfillment we all desire. A word of caution
though, personal fulfillment and personal direction are two separate roots necessary
to ground the tree that is life.
Although I spent the majority of this entry on the human element
to a purpose-filled life, I massively struggled traveling without a
quantifiable purpose for the trip. Without such a purpose or goal, we are like
a seed, continually blowing in the wind but never landing and sprouting fruit.
While stepping aside to admire the beauty of what we have been provided (in
nature and in our lives) is important, I struggled not having a known purpose
for this trip.
I am glad I toured Europe solo for 4 months; however, I am
not confident I ever want to try it again. The roller coaster of emotion of
meeting people, sharing life stories, and never following up is exhausting. I
had several ultimate takeaways from this trip. (1) While there are numerous
avenues in life that can provide remedial happiness and security, human connection
is the only thing that can provide true happiness. (2) A purpose-filled
life encompasses both our interactions with each other and our goals for the
direction we want our lives to go. (3) Without a tangible, quantifiable purpose
we are lost in the dark wilderness of uncertainty without a compass to guide
us.
While traveling solo is difficult and requires great courage,
I highly recommend anyone that has a desire (even if you are struggling with
the courage) to see the world to spend at least a few months in a foreign
country on his/her own. The increase in self-awareness, global awareness, and
self-confidence cannot be developed through a textbook or on the Internet. Although
the journey will not be the easiest endeavor ever attempted, the lifelong rewards
will far outweigh any temporary difficulties.
