What Europe Taught Me

As we transition from childhood through adolescence and into young adulthood, the seemingly infinite possibilities for our lives slowly dwindle into only a handful of options. At every life stage, boundaries form and our once expected opportunities as vast as the Alaskan wilderness begin narrowing to the size of a country road. As we drive this winding road, our headlights only illuminating the path several seconds in advance, we begin focusing solely on the asphalt: a narrow sliver of life, four seconds at a time. When the sun slowly rises in the eastern sky, its gentle blue and yellow hue illuminating the hundreds of miles we have traveled, the true beauty of living, the same beauty we blazed past while focusing only on the road lit in front of our eyes, begins appearing where there was darkness. Our focus on the destination—a destination lacking in any true personal value—prevents us from experiencing the true rewards of the journey (life).

While our priorities may change like the seasons, they nonjudgmentally reveal where we place our emphasis in life. As life proceeds from one phase to the next, our priorities and our purpose shift; however, these two elements always mirror each other. Unfortunately, when our past is illuminated, all our missed opportunities due to unexpectedly misaligned priorities are revealed. We only have one life and missing these opportunities yields regret. The thrills of victory and success are frequently short-lived and provide a joy that stops well before our core: the pain of defeat is deeper but generally dissipates with time. However, regret remains buried, always watching, and waiting to pounce until a separate memory provides closure. Everyone desires a redo in some phase of his or her life; whether a relationship, a conversation, a job, a missed experience or a simple photograph he or she prevented. My personal fear of future regret propelled me into this trip. Life seemed to part and a soggy path leading to the other side of the sea emerged. Not everything had turned out as expected or even desired in the previous few months, but everything had happened for a reason. Each individual piece had fallen to build a puzzle. While some expectations had not come to fruition, other dreams were materializing on the horizon.

As I moved from country to country, the memories I hold dearest are the conversations (generally unexpected) with people from all over the world. Humility, honesty and sincerity are personality traits that transcend cultures and native languages. Humility humanizes you by demonstrating your acceptance and almost reliance on someone else, while sincerity and honestly are catalysts for cultivating meaningful conversations that extend further than, “how long have you been traveling?” However, meaningful conversations and meaningful, long-term connections with people are different. Follow-up is required to provide the human element for a purpose-filled life. There lies the problem with backpacking Europe and moving from place to place so quickly. Sharing life’s experiences and stories can provide lessons, understandings and connections; however, living life with one another provides purpose. Working together to conquer the difficult times, joining in celebration during the good times; these longer-term investments in each other are essential for true purpose and meaning. Traveling Europe solo (it sounds depressing to say “alone”) provides ample time to increase self and global awareness; however, there is always something missing when you cannot share your experiences with the people you care about.

The power of home served as an unexpected learning from this trip. Not necessarily the physical presence of a home; rather, the emotional connection associated with a city. While I was born and raised in the suburbs of Houston, I consider Houston my home due to the depth of friendships I have with the people living there. Home is not about a physical address on a map; home is about the people: the memories, the stories, the laughter and the tears.

Connecting the dots of life can only occur when looking backward. As I proceeded from dot to dot (city to city) on the European map, I continued to grow, change and mature into a more confident, more aware individual. Through the challenges, joys, hardships, and lessons, I was continually being molded, shaped and carved into a new person. Prior to departing on this trip, I would have avoided certain cities and countries I ended up enjoying, simply due to prior bias and a lack of individual confidence. Looking back over the molding and shaping periods, those challenges were being used to strengthen my resolve and character and to build my confidence in my skills to overcome difficulties.

In the year plus prior to departing, I made a noticeable shift in my priorities in life. I decided to start fresh—a clean, uncultivated field—and use any available resource to fertilize that field so seeds would grow stronger and more plentiful than ever before. My personal growth during that phase (some lessons taking over a year to become habit) was necessary to mature into a person of purpose. These lessons also taught me the importance of genuine honesty and transparency with people. People are just people; we all have struggles and successes, highs and lows. Connecting with each other on a meaningful level can provide the fulfillment we all desire. A word of caution though, personal fulfillment and personal direction are two separate roots necessary to ground the tree that is life.

Although I spent the majority of this entry on the human element to a purpose-filled life, I massively struggled traveling without a quantifiable purpose for the trip. Without such a purpose or goal, we are like a seed, continually blowing in the wind but never landing and sprouting fruit. While stepping aside to admire the beauty of what we have been provided (in nature and in our lives) is important, I struggled not having a known purpose for this trip.

I am glad I toured Europe solo for 4 months; however, I am not confident I ever want to try it again. The roller coaster of emotion of meeting people, sharing life stories, and never following up is exhausting. I had several ultimate takeaways from this trip. (1) While there are numerous avenues in life that can provide remedial happiness and security, human connection is the only thing that can provide true happiness. (2) A purpose-filled life encompasses both our interactions with each other and our goals for the direction we want our lives to go. (3) Without a tangible, quantifiable purpose we are lost in the dark wilderness of uncertainty without a compass to guide us.

While traveling solo is difficult and requires great courage, I highly recommend anyone that has a desire (even if you are struggling with the courage) to see the world to spend at least a few months in a foreign country on his/her own. The increase in self-awareness, global awareness, and self-confidence cannot be developed through a textbook or on the Internet. Although the journey will not be the easiest endeavor ever attempted, the lifelong rewards will far outweigh any temporary difficulties.